maryailes (maryailes) wrote,

Simply the funniest thing I've read in a long time

Prince Charles announces he's going to marry. The Guardian publishes "Harry's Diary." I fell out of my chair and rolled under my desk laughing. Here it is:

Jeez. The Goat will be my stepmother,2763,1410070,00.html

Ros Taylor couldn't get her hands on Prince Harry's diary. So she made it up instead.

Thursday February 10, 2005

Big bash coming up. What am I going to wear?
Asked Wills if he was going to wear the leopard costume again. He said no, crotch a bit too defined, Granny wouldn't like it. We had a bit of a laugh about the crown jewels. Always sets him off on one.

Seriously, will have to be careful this time. Pa will go totally apeshit if I wear the Japanese soldier costume with the Hara-kiri fake blood pouch in the belt. Might have to save it for Weasel's Pink Bits party in May.

Chelsy just texted from Durbs. Wants to know if she's invited. Jesus, not bloody likely. She told me I was a wuss after Pa sent me to weed his parsnips at Highgrove. Said it was pointless going to Sandhurst. And she can't keep her mouth shut. Now everyone knows I call Camilla the Goat behind her back. Wills is right, I should dump her when I get the chance. Feckhead told me the other day her father's a friend of Robert Mugarby. Don't see the problem, myself, but might be a good excuse.

Just realised the Goat will be my stepmother. Jeez.

Had another thought. Might see if I can get a goat mask for Jizza's party next week. No one'll know what it really means, just my little joke. Texted the Bokster to see what he thought, and he says he'll come as a horse.

Bollocks. Fancy dress shop is out of goats.

I have got it. I have ab-so-effing-lutely got it. I'm going to go to the wedding as Mummy. How much of a tribute is that? I mean, it's what she would have wanted. To be there in spirit. Told Wills, he gasped a bit and ran out of the room making funny noises. Might even be able to raid her old dressing room at Ken Palace. Blonde wig, bit of mascara - this is going to be a bloody knockout.
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.